And then there were 15!

The last couple of days have been hectic to say the least. With the passing away of Eli's grandad (bubu Kandoni) we have had family coming to the house making arrangments for the funeral, coffin and organising to go back to the village for the “haus krai” and burial.

Eli's Mum travelled up from Lae this morning with about 12 relo's – Benjamin, Joseph, kids, aunties and more kids… they arrived in  Goroka earlier this afternoon and headed straight for the bus stop at the markets to try and get a bus out to Watabung in the Eastern Highland's. I think they persisted for about four hours and about 6pm Eli calls me to say that there are no more buses running… Is it OK if the folks come and crash at our place?

I was expecting about four or five – not 12! With the six that were already here – this brings the total number of guests to around 15 to 18! Haven't done a count – one kind of loses track after about 10! So right now it's 8:00pm and the back of the house is full up! The same old rule applies… no folks in the house! Tonight though… we will make an exception: Eli's Mum will stay and sleep inside.

So you see… being married to a PNG meri certainly has it's moments. For a man that loves to indulge in his own space… things sure have changed! Those private moments are becoming rarer and rarer – although with the inside of the house being of limits I can still escape from the mob and get intimate with the laptop and web.

In the end… it is nice to have folks around. Eli's family are pretty cool and are respectful of our need for privacy. To be married to a local and avoid the melanesian
 communal thing all together is not only difficult but essentially means to cut oneself of from the clan. Self exile and ostracisation from Eli's family is out of the question.

It must seem odd to them at times when I shun the group and retreat into my own space – like right now but shortly I will join in and we will eat together, share a story and with the passing away of one of their elders, probably shed a tear or two.

XMAS day tomorrow and  part of me remains sad that I won't be with my own blood downunder. XMAS has been and remains a special time that we share together. Fingers crossed tomorrow we will do the Skype thing and I will get to talk with them from Jbro's place out at Dural.

Family… if you are reading this – I miss you dearly and wish you all a cracker of a xmas day together. (There's that word “cracker” again!). May XMAS 2007 be a “cracker” for all folks reading this!

Isolation => community => end of loneliness => belonging.

And that's how it is…