All is not a bed of roses in PNG and there are times when I seriously think about throwing in the towel. Mostly PNG has been an incredibly enlightening, eye-opening and adventurous experience for me but tucked away in between these moments of welcomed humanity there are times when the quirks, perks and idiosyncrasies of the locals just drives absolutely bonkers.
Here’s a list 10 things that really get on my case:
1) Queues! The loudest and the one with the longest arm will always get served 1st.
2) Being asked to get three quotations for a K10 power board!
3) Calling a government department and being told that so and so will call back but not being asked for my name or number. How will so and so know who to ring?
4) Welcoming in-laws into our home knowing full well that I’m going to have to fork out for the return bus fare if I ever want to get rid of them.
5) Drunks, parties and loud music! Papua New Guineans seem to have little to no respect for the peace and sleep needs of their neighbours.
6) Which brings me to my next irk… christian crusades! Four am in the morning or 11 at night – it doesn’t matter – a gathering of zealots seem to think that the louder the stronger their belief. Once again – no consideration for the next door neighbour whatsoever.
7) Preachers on street corners. Angry bastards they are! Wanting to convert anyone and everyone whilst laying a heap of shit on the opposition. If only they understood that the only audience they attract are the folks hanging around town all day that are needing a little diversion from their aimless existence.
8) Corruption! Should have added this one at the top of the list. Nothing covert about corruption in PNG – out in the open! And it would seem that elected politicians and senior bureaucrats have the notion that it’s their responsibility to milk this country until there’s a revolution, everything’s gone or the United Nations finds it in its heart to step in.
9) There is always enough money to play cards, chew, buy beer or coff up a few bucks to help out a relative with a contribution towards some bullshit compensation. But do you think folks can find a few coins to pay for their kids education fees!!??!
10) Seeing a bloke giving his wife or girlfriend a good old fashioned “touch-up” (bashing) in a public place or seeing two women fight (normally married to the same man) with a laughing audience watching on.
I feel for you brother! There’s nothing like a good dummy spit to get things off your chest. I had a really positive Melanesian experience last night – the Solomon Islands 30th Anniversary of Independence party in Canberra. Custom dancing, feasting, and classic speech giving – and of course a big plate of take home food (I know what the wife will be having for breakfast – Taro in coconut milk). Now that we have a half Solomon child we have been sucked in even tighter to the community – little Leleana was related by blood or marriage to at least twenty people in the room last night – those wantoks are everywhere!!
Nick,
Thanks for your empathy bro!
I’m really glad that you are able to connect with your tambu’s as far away as Canberra. This interaction and belonging that we both experience as a result of being married to melanesian women – is something that few would probably understand.
The taro and coconut is making me hungry and it’s only 10am!!
If your wantoks are everywhere in Canberra – imagine the multitudes that crowd me here in Goroka… the tribal lands are only an hours drive away!!
Em inap long nau.
Kets.
R