Robert@PNG

All is not a bed of roses in PNG and there are times when I seriously think about throwing in the towel. Mostly PNG has been an incredibly enlightening, eye-opening and adventurous experience for me but tucked away in between these moments of welcomed humanity there are times when the quirks, perks and idiosyncrasies of the locals just drives absolutely bonkers.

Here’s a list 10 things that really get on my case:

1) Queues! The loudest and the one with the longest arm will always get served 1st.

2) Being asked to get three quotations for a K10 power board!

3) Calling a government department and being told that so and so will call back but not being asked for my name or number. How will so and so know who to ring?

4) Welcoming in-laws into our home knowing full well that I’m going to have to fork out for the return bus fare if I ever want to get rid of them.

5) Drunks, parties and loud music! Papua New Guineans seem to have little to no respect for the peace and sleep needs of their neighbours.

6) Which brings me to my next irk… christian crusades! Four am in the morning or 11 at night - it doesn’t matter - a gathering of zealots seem to think that the louder the stronger their belief. Once again - no consideration for the next door neighbour whatsoever.

7) Preachers on street corners. Angry bastards they are! Wanting to convert anyone and everyone whilst laying a heap of shit on the opposition. If only they understood that the only audience they attract are the folks hanging around town all day that are needing a little diversion from their aimless existence.

8) Corruption! Should have added this one at the top of the list. Nothing covert about corruption in PNG - out in the open! And it would seem that elected politicians and senior bureaucrats have the notion that it’s their responsibility to milk this country until there’s a revolution, everything’s gone or the United Nations finds it in its heart to step in.

9) There is always enough money to play cards, chew, buy beer or coff up a few bucks to help out a relative with a contribution towards some bullshit compensation. But do you think folks can find a few coins to pay for their kids education fees!!??!

10) Seeing a bloke giving his wife or girlfriend a good old fashioned “touch-up” (bashing) in a public place or seeing two women fight (normally married to the same man) with a laughing audience watching on.