Perhaps the worst form of torture known to man!!
A young man is wandering lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient looking Chinese man with a long grey beard.
“I’m lost,” said the young man. “Can you put me up for the night?” “Certainly”, the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three Chinese tortures of legend, the worst known to man”.
“OK” said the man, and entered the house. Over dinner, the daughter came down stairs. She was young, beautiful, had a cracking pair of knockers and a body to die for. She was obviously begging for it from the young man, as she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the whole meal. With great difficulty and remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her blatant advances and went up to bed alone. Trying to fall asleep, his raging hard-on told him he could bear it no longer and he sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep the shagging as quiet as possible so the old man wouldn’t hear, and at dawn, he crept back to his bed, exhausted but happy. He awoke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock lying on him with a note on it that read:
“Chinese Torture 1… Large rock on Chest “
Well, that’s pretty shit’, he thought. ‘But if that’s the best the old man can do, then I don’t have much to worry about.’ He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on the window frame that read:
“Chinese Torture 2… Rock tied to left testicle”
In a panic he glanced down and saw that the rope was already close to becoming taut. Deciding that a few broken bones were better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read:
“Chinese Torture 3… Right testicle tied to bed post”
Ouch!!!