You know you are an expat ‘gone native’ in the Solomons when:

You haven’t had a hot shower for over a year
You start to think that coffee-mix and Mamee noodles taste quite nice
You give up trying to accumulate any possessions other than some kitchen pots and a broken chair
You call one of your drinking acquaintances ‘Uncle’ because you’re married to one of his wantoks
People can mix Roviana, Pidgin and English together and you still understand them – perfectly
You get really cranky that you can’t smoke in Brisbane airport
A beer at ten o’clock in the morning doesn’t seem like a bad idea
You book a plane ticket from Honiara to Gizo on the 8a.m Saturday flight, but you only plan to get to Gizo ’sometime on the weekend’ – you hope
Whenever you travel more than 5km from your house you take a backpack containing a good book, bottle of water, crackers, a tin of chilli taiyo and cigarettes for at least three days
You make sure you have enough cash for the weekend by 3pm Friday
You look forward to going through the latest arrival of second hand clothes at XJ-6
You buy your frozen chickens from someone at the Yacht Club and store them in the beer fridge until you’ve finished drinking
You think that someone who has just managed to get the lease on a broken shack in Honiara that doesn’t have power and costs SBD$4000 a month “lucky”
You arrange to meet someone “in the morning”, rather than at 9a.m.
You are outraged that a bag of rice is SBD$140, when you know you can get it for SBD$138 at the other end of town

R