10 Things about PNG that I will never fully understand

I could probably spend another 50 years in the Land of the Unexpected and never fully comprehend some of the nuances and idiosyncrasies  of Papua New Guineans.  A mistake that many make is to view the locals as simple or superficial. The complexity and depth of tribal tradition and custom – for me – conjures up terms such as sophisticated, intricate, evolved and efficient.

As a white man married into a Highlands clan and someone that willingly participates and interacts with tribal custom I have witnessed and experienced this complexity and although I continue to learn and slowly understand aspects of local lore – never in a thousand years would I totally grasp the PNG way of thinking and behaving.

A little while back I published a short story on the “10 Paradoxes of Papua New Guinea“  in which I made an attempt at listing 10 things that just do not make sense. In this post I’m going to share with you an updated list – perhaps I could have called it “10 Additional Paradoxes of Papua New Guinea” -  alas… I give you…

“The 10 things that I will never fully understand about Papua New Guinea”

1. Het-Pe (head pay) is the social obligation that a clan and family of a married male have towards the clan and relatives of his wife. In the Highlands a married woman generally follows her husband and the two will settle down on the clan lands of the male. Lets say they have a child together – the clan of the male now have social obligation towards the clan of the female – in essence a way to thank the other clan for the new addition to their numbers. Although I have just described the essence of het-pe there’s more to it than the eye meets – the circumstances, timing and some of the finer points of this type of exchange will forever remain an enigma to this mere yalkro.
2. Bread Flour – I don’t know if I will fully understand what the locals see in battered bread – apart from the fact that it has zero nutritiuonal value – it’s probably been sitting in the bain marie at the local kai bar for at least half a day.  Having said that – I have been known to munch on the odd “Sausage flour” (battered savaloy). Who knows?
3. Sunglass sticker -  for the life of me I do not understand why it is that many of the locals – after purchasing a new pair of sunglasses – intentionally leave the sticker on one of the glasses – obviously obstructing a clear view.
4. Education Fees – there’s always enough cash to buy beer, buai, play cards or even contribute to a compensation for some trouble brought on buy drunken or loutish behaviour – but when it comes time to paying school fees there’s never any money.
5. Mobile phones – there are two peculiarities concerning mobile phones which I do not understand. Firstly, why it is that more folks don’t learn to use SMS messaging – it would sure save them a bucket in pre-paid cards. Secondly, the way that many locals use/hold a mobile when speaking – you would think it’s a 2-way radio – the way the mobile continually bobs from ear to mouth and back again.
6. Coffee – despite some of the best coffee in the world being grown right here on our doorstep – do you think it’s possible to find a decent espresso, flat white or cappuccino in Goroka town itself? Whilst on the subject of coffee… why is it that the locals imbibe in copious amounts of Nescafe 43 when there surrounded by oodles of “el primo” ?
7. Rugby Match – no one knows what time any rugby match starts but everyone turns up in time for kick-off! The other thing about sporting events… if you do a mini survey during the game on the score of the game – you will get different answers. Although, the exact score of a match remains aloof – when the referee blows the whistle at the end – everyone knows who the winner is.
8. Trust – (or lack of) we all have heard the expression – PNG the Land of the Unexpected – I also call it the – Land of the Untrusted. Sad but so true. There’s 200 clansmen back in the village that would risk their own lives to save mine – but do you think that I could trust one of those men with the task of carrying K50 or perhaps some groceries back to the village to pass on to another?
9. Promiscuity: despite the overt sexual frigidity between couples; despite the proliferation of christianity and religious fervour;  despite tradition and tribal custom having clear rules of engagement between member of the opposite sex – there exists a prevalent and covert promiscuity amongst Papua New Guineans that is rife, decadent and in many cases fatal. HIV/AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) are on the rise and morality on the decline. Ironically, in the almost 5 years that I have lived and worked in PNG I have only once – I repeat only once – seen a sign advertising the handing out of free condoms.
10. Markets: any event or gathering tends to attract the manadatory “market”. You could have 50 or 60 seperate market owners laying out their spread and selling their wares – and you will find all markets basically selling the same 6 to 10 items: betelnut, smokes, ice blocks, flour balls, coffee candy, bubble gum, lamb flaps (cooked on old oil drum lids), amoxicillin, cooked kaukau or peanuts. Perhaps a little bit of old fashioned creativity would generate new opportunities for many struggling families.