The following are all replies that Manchester women have, allegedly, written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing “father’s details;” or putting it another way…. Who’s the Daddy?
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can pro vide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so wo uld blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country . Please advise.
7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time…. well, I don’t have clue.
8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St , mine might have remained unfertilized.
Last but not least…
10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.
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nice post robert
Laugh or cry??
I was at the in-laws place last Christmas. I started to get hassled by my mother-in-law, who thought that I wasn’t being a ‘good enough’ Dad to my one-year old (hey, I was on holidays, and there were half a dozen Aunties there – what happened to communal parenting??). This made me cranky as the baby was a bit sick and so crying a lot, but that must have been something to do with my bad parenting. I then started to do some calculations:
My mother-in-law had 5 children there, to 3 different fathers – at least the father to one of them was present. Her sister who lives up the hill and whose kids were hanging out lots has 4 kids to 3 different parents. One daughter has a child – who knows who the Dad was, but he hasn’t been around for years. Another daughter has a child – we know who the Dad is, be he left when the child was born. The youngest daughter has 3 children to three different fathers – none of whom were even close to present.
I think I should have got 100% in the parenting stakes for just being there!! Not to mention the fact that I picked up lots of work while there and so was working during my holiday!! Melanesia – sometimes you just can’t win :-)
Mate,
If I was ignorant to Melanesian culture I would tell you… you’re pulling my leg! But having lived and worked around these parts for almost 5 years and now as good as married to a local I understand the situation exactly.
Good to see you do spend time with your wife’s family. So many whites disassociate themselves totally from the “tambu’s”. And you know what… I’m beginning to understand why!
For me personally I am needing to find that balance between interaction and withdrawal. Very much a moving target.
I laughed when I read your account of a family gathering… a few weeks ago one of my wife’s cousin stayed with us for a few days after giving birth. Her 8th kid. All eight from five different blokes! None of them still with – all adopted out pinis!
R